Redemption
by wizardelfgirl
Summary: Snape has lost his desire to live. Remus Lupin, knowing it is partly his fault, makes the ultimate sacrifice so that the Potions Master may heal. Sorry, no slash. Note:L this is a onechapter story, so yes, it is finished.


Hiya everyone. This is a short, one-chapter fic that just came into my mind while working. There is a Spanish version too, in case anyone is interested, but I'm not 100 percent satisfied with it (which is stupid of me, 'cause Spanish is supposed to be my native tongue), so I will be reposting it sometime soon.

Any comments or suggestions, or even corrections will be welcome, I'm always eager to learn and improve.

As everyone already knows, the characters belong to J.K. Rowling and not me (duh!)

* * *

o o o o o o

It happened just for a split second, but it was enough to take Remus Lupin's mind reeling back in time.

The lights.

The screams.

The final battle.

Harry's death.

Funny, the way prophesies go. Always vague, leaving many possibilities for things to be interpreted, giving us only a glimpse of infinite futures.

"Neither can live while the other survives", had said the prophesy.

But it didn't say anything about both being able to die.

And so they had.

And now, only a few months after the vanquishing of the Dark Lord, the last of the Death Eaters had attempted to seize Hogwarts and take revenge on their master's slayers.

The attack hadn't been expected, everyone knowing how heavily warded Hogwarts was. Not even Voldemort had managed to enter the castle, or so it seemed. Now it was plain he had somehow devised a way to fool the many wards, but his demise had prevented him from carrying out his plans. Apparently, his pupils were willing to try it.

Lupin had been walking the grounds with none other than Severus Snape when everything had begun. Jets of light had erupted from the Forbidden Forest, taking them by surprise. Barely able to avoid being hit, they both sent alert signals with their wands before running back to the castle. Luckily, many aurors had been staying in Hogsmeade, some nursing minor wounds, others looking, ironically enough, for clues to the whereabouts of the Death Eaters. They all saw the signals and immediately apparated in front of the main gates of the school, ready to fight.

Snape and Lupin, along with Albus Dumbledore and the rest of the teachers, had assembled in front of the castle doors as a barrier against the attack, as the last protection for the children who were inside.

And then it came. The flash, a brilliant flash that blinded everyone, even those inside the school. Half a second later, something exploded in the middle of the school grounds, shaking the whole school and sending teachers and aurors sprawling backwards to the floor. Lupin barely had time to feel a sharp pain in his leg before losing consciousness in the middle of another explosion that blasted him without mercy.

And in that split second, Lupin remembered.

He had fallen much in the same way some months ago, a few weeks after Voldemort had been destroyed. Depressed, still mourning for Harry's and Sirius's death, he had lowered his guard during a raid to Lucius Malfoy's manor and had been blasted by Lucius himself. Wounded, barely coherent, the young man's last thought had been of guilt: guilt because he had failed those who counted on him during the raid, but especially, guilt because he didn't actually care. For deep down inside him, Remus Lupin had wanted to be killed, to end everything in his miserable existence and finally earn his rest. And so, as he felt his life slowly creeping out of his body, the young lycanthrope had smiled.

But it wasn't his time to die.

Just when he had resigned himself to his doom, Lupin felt a hand gently cradling his head, while the other introduced the long neck of a flask in his mouth. A bitter liquid ran through his throat and immediately the pain started to vanish. Understanding the nature of the potion he was being given, Lupin tried to reject it and with much effort managed to spit it out.

"Drink it, goddammit!" said a voice which sounded very familiar to the young man. "I don't have many flasks and I don't intend to waste them all on you."

"Snape?"

"Stop talking and drink the potion, it will seal your wounds until they can be cured."

Lupin tried once more to reject the flask, but Snape skillfully immobilized him with a charm and forced him to swallow the liquid. Then he carefully lifted him up and carried him away from the fight, leaving him in the care of one of the healers that accompanied the Order of the Phoenix before going back to the battle.

Lupin's chanced to die had vanished.

Lucius had used a silver curse to hit Lupin, therefore making his wounds difficult to heal. For many days the young man lay in bed in the captured Malfoy Manor's improvised hospital, too weak to even transport him to Saint Mungo's However, the natural healing powers of the werewolf soon started to act and sooner than expected the lycan was already up and about. Although he was still weak and wasn't allowed to leave the manor, Lupin spent his time helping the healers to treat their patients in the improvised hospital.

It was during a shift in the highest floor when Lupin found out about another patient.

He had been assigned the task of taking food to the patients in worst condition. Many of them, still too weary to eat, had to be fed. While Lupin helped a young auror to hold her spoon, he noticed that at the far end of the room there was a bed separated from the rest with white drawn curtains. At that moment, an old healer came out of the curtains. Filled with curiosity, Lupin waited for the healer to walk by him to ask him about the hidden patient's health. The old man's eyes grew somber when he heard the question.

"Physically, the wounds have closed," he said sadly. "However, his body hasn't been able to heal. An the reason is simple: the young man has lost the will to live. When the spirit decays, the body soon follows. It is a shame. For what I have been told, Mr. Snape was a valuable asset in winning the war."

"Snape!" shouted Lupin, scaring many patients around him. Mumbling a quick apology, the young man hurried to the far off bed and without hesitation went through the curtains. Almost immediately he regretted it.

There lay the Potions Master, his sallow skin still full of bruises, the body limp and dangerously thin. Although Snape's face was hidden behind his lank, greasy hair, Lupin noticed that the man was awake, but his eyes were totally lost, glazed. There was no trace of the sly, cynical Slytherin that terrorized his students with a mere look. Snape was reduced to a ruin of his former self, a living corpse waiting for certain death.

Lupin couldn't stand to see his former enemy in that condition, and yet he couldn't stop looking. He instinctively stroked the long, black hair expecting some response. For a fleeting moment he thought he had seen a flicker in Snape's eyes, but it didn't last.

"Snape, what is wrong with you?"

Nothing. No sarcastic comment, not even a look of hatred. Lupin recognized in this attitude the same wish he had had during the fight, the longing for death. Snape had robbed him of the opportunity that time. Now, Lupin would return him the favor.

"Severus, no matter if I have to stay here forever, I will not let you die."

And so Lupin became his worst enemy's personal nurse.

Every day, after taking his own medicines. Lupin went up to the last floor of the mansion and sat besides Snape while healers administered him the various potions he needed. Lupin himself fed him, coaxing him to chew and swallow every bite. Sometimes, when he saw the pale man shake, product of a bad dream, he comforted him with soothing words. And though Snape never showed sign of noticing this special treatment, he slowly started to get better.

One night, Lupin had stayed late reading aloud a book on potions, illuminated only by a small candlestick on Severus's night table, surrounded by the many medicines the young man took. The whole room was asleep, as well as Snape. So Lupin closed the book and decided to retire to his own room and get some sleep.

He was totally taken by surprise when, just as he was about to cross the curtains, a weak voice behind him spoke:

"Why?"

Lupin turned around and saw that Snape was, not only awake, but alert, though he wore a look of pure sadness that made the lycan shiver despite himself.

"Why," Snape repeated, this time more forcefully. "Why do you help me¿Why do you care?"

Lupin walked to the bed and sat heavily on it with his back to the patient.

"I don't know," he answered. "I think at the beginning I did it because I felt I owed you. But now, I just don't know why I do it.

Snape was silent for a moment. Then, he turned his face away.

"You have always hated me." He murmured. "You and your pathetic friends hated me. Everyone has always hated me. Even my father hated me, though he always took care to keep me alive if only to preserve the family name. If you are helping me because of pity, y warn you to keep it to yourself and get out of here. I need no one's compassion.

"Of course you need no one's compassion, Snape, I know that already, but you do need the help from a friend. I know you care to have nothing from me, Severus, but at least on this occasion let me help you.

"Help me? Help me? The only help I would appreciate from you right now would be your claws tearing at my flesh, you flea-bitten wolf. Let's kill two birds with one stone: We will fulfill your friend Sirius's wish to kill me and I will finally have some rest. Do me a favor and come back in the full moon so you can finish what your idiot friend and you began so many years ago."

Lupin was frozen at these words. He turned around to look at Snape, hoping it had only been an insult, a means to hurt him and nothing more. But the only thing he saw in the young man's eyes was sincerity.

Snape noticed Lupin was watching him and snorted. "Do you know the real reason I kept your secret when Albus asked me to? It wasn't for you, I assure you. It was because, deep inside me, when I saw you approaching me in your wolf's form, for a moment I wished you would reach me and kill me. Yes, you heard right. I wanted you to kill me once and for all and save me the bother of doing it myself. But that stupid Potter had to go and save me and leave me in his debt. And worse, Albus watched me so closely I never again had the chance to do it. I think one of the reasons I joined Voldemort was that I hoped sooner or later I would be killed, either by Voldemort or by some auror. And there were many times I almost was. But then something happened that made me go back to the Light and help Albus vanquish the Dark Lord. Yet that is over. The war has ended, I have paid for all my sins, and now I must pay for the last one, the worst of all, which is having been born the wretched creature that I am. So stop trying to help me, because you owe me nothing. Go away and live your life, Remus, and let me die in peace," at this, Snape shifted on the bed and turned his back to the lycan.

This revelation had left Lupin, if possible, even colder than what he had heard before. Had Snape really wanted to die so early in his life? Why? Had his life at school been so miserable? Had all those constant pranks from Sirius and James hurt his soul so much? And he, Remus, had been part of it, when he didn't try to constrain his friends, always afraid of being abandoned and rejected. Cowardice and fear had guided most of his actions and the result was in front of him: a crippled soul that had only wanted to be understood.

Lupin felt so ashamed he couldn't stop the tears. He wasn't crying. He simply let the burning tears silently char his face and neck. If there was someone who deserved to die, it was him, for being a coward, for having allowed an innocent man to be tormented in such a way, for letting a good soul wither like a flower without the roots of love to nurture it.

For having thought only of himself, when there were those who silently suffered a worse pain than rejection.

"No, Snape," he said almost without thinking, the words blossoming from his heart without he being able to refrain them. "Not everyone hates you. I never hated you. On the contrary, I always felt I was more akin to you than to my friends, and that always frightened me, because I feared the wolf within me would one day control my life and turn me into a rotten beast. But now I see I have always been that beast and you were prey to my stupidity. You deserved respect and love and I gave you none. Though your attitude wasn't much help either," he added with a wry smile. "but life never seemed to give you the chance to be otherwise.

Snape's back was still on the lycan, but, judging by the tension in his muscles, Lupin knew he was listening to every word.

"But things have changed now. The war is over, you no longer need to risk your life. Those who tormented you are gone. Even… even Harry," Lupin's voice faltered for a moment. Snape's muscles tensed even more. "There is no one else who can hurt you, except maybe me, and I'd die before I'd hurt you, or let anyone hurt you, Severus. That I promise you.

Lupin got up from Snape's bed and Snape, despite himself, turned slightly around to see Lupin's departing shadow.

"Severus, if ever you have the wish to avenge yourself on those who wronged you, even if you wish to torture and kill, please come to me, you can do whatever you want. Let us take advantage of the hate you have for me to vent your anger and thus begin a life anew.

It was Severus's turn to feel the terrible cold in his heart. In spite of his pain, he quickly turned around to regard his former enemy, but Lupin had already crossed the curtains and disappeared in the shadows.

The lycanthrope had apologized to him and offered him not only his friendship, but his life.

Severus Snape's anger vanished and turned into deep lust for life.

From that day on, even though none of them ever mentioned that conversation again, Snape and Lupin became friends.

Lupin continued helping Snape recover, and Snape on his part worked hard to get better. Very soon, against all expectations, he was prowling Malfoy Manor with his trademark scowl, but with a glow in his eyes even Ron Weasley, who sometimes went to help the injured, couldn't help noticing.

Snape and Lupin never talked about the promise the young lycan had made, but the latter never forgot it.

o o o o o o

Remus Lupin woke up to find that the fight was still going on. With great effort, due to the pain in his leg, he stood up and took a quick glance in all directions. Things weren't going too well. Many aurors had been injured by the magical explosions and those left standing were fighting for their lives against the Death Eaters. Miraculously, the explosion had sent Lupin into a small gap at the base of the castle surrounded by bushes, in which he had been able to stay hidden while he had been unconscious. But now it was time to fight.

Lupin came out of his hiding place more than willing to fight, but hadn't advanced even two steps when he almost fell again, his insides turned to ice.

Severus Snape lay on the grass only a few feet from him, still conscious, but his robes drenched in blood. The Death Eater who had wounded him, standing some feet away, was preparing himself for another curse. By the position of the wand, Lupin knew it was the cruciatus. _Even in a moment like this he has fun torturing before killing_.

Lupin strained his eyes and saw with horror that the wizard's identity was none other than Lucius Malfoy. Lucius, who had escaped the raid on his manor. Lucius, who, Snape had once told him, had tortured the Slytherin endlessly when he had been discovered as a spy, before the Order had managed to rescue him from Voldemort's clutches. Lucius, the last of those tormentors who plagued Snape's Life. Well, almost the last, if Lupin considered his own past actions against the Slytherin.

His actions.

His cowardice.

But not anymore.

Lupin had made a promise, and he intended to keep it.

With the agility inherent to a wolf, the pain in his leg forgotten, Lupin gave a long jump and landed in front of his friend, just in time to intercept the curse and receive it in his own body.

Lupin felt the pain spread like wildfire on dry grass.

Severus Snape, unable to comprehend what was happening, was only able to watch.

He saw Remus's body convulse and shake with pain. He saw, on a distance, Lucius enjoying the lycan's suffering. And finally, he saw his friend's face, which, in spite of the pain and the convulsions, was staring directly at him.

Remus was smiling.

With amazing clarity, although the pain threatened to make him pass out, Remus Lupin spoke:

"The last of your tormentors are gone, Severus. It is time for you to begin your new life."

Then, before the Potions Master's amazed eyes, Lupin got up, walked towards the now shocked and dismayed Death Eater, and with a clear voice and a firm movement, he cast the killing curse.

The flabbergasted Lucius didn't even have time to blink when he fell dead. The cruciatus curse was broken.

And with that, Remus crumbled to the floor.

Snape reacted just in time to catch the limp body in his arms and gently lower him on the grass. If only he had any of his potions…

But he knew they would be of no use. Lupin's body had resisted the cruciatus curs for an extended period of time. Snape knew by experience the terrible internal damage a long exposition to the curse could cause.

Lupin coughed violently and Snape's face was covered in blood.

His only friend was dying in his arms and Snape could do nothing to prevent it.

And then, in his last moments of agony, Remus Lupin pronounced his last words: "Forgive me."

Snape neared his face to the young man's ear and whispered: "There was never anything to forgive."

Lupin's lips curved into a smile.

And he gave his last breath.

o o o o o o

"Where do you plan to go?" asked Albus Dumbledore to the young teacher who, luggage in hand, watched the dawn from a hill in the Hogwarts grounds.

"I don't know for sure, I'll go where my heart takes me. I have traveled little and I want to meet the world before returning here for the next school term.

"I'm glad, Severus," answered the old wizard. "I hope your trip will help you to heal past wounds. But I suppose you won't be starting your trip immediately."

How the meddling old wizard managed to know other people's thoughts was a mystery Snape would never unravel.

"No, Albus, you're right. I promised the Weasleys I would go with them to visit Harry's grave," Albus arched an eyebrow. "Yes, you heard well, I will be spending a few days with the Weasleys. Even I was surprised when Ron Weasley asked me, but I was more amazed when I accepted. Then," Snape's face contracted into an ironic smile, "we're going to visit Potter's family. ¿Did you know the didn't even attend his funeral? Too ashamed, I think, to admit they were actually fond of the boy. The Ministry wanted to bury Potter at the center of Hogsmeade and erect a statue in his honor, but Miss Granger convinced them that a simple grave beside his parents would suffice. She knew that's what the boy would have wanted.

Dumbledore nodded with a trace of sadness in his eyes. So many innocent people had died. So many people who deserved to live. And Harry, barely more than a child, had been robbed of the chance to enjoy life. A brave young man who had died for the good of mankind, willing to sacrifice his life for those he loved most: his friends.

Which reminded Dumbledore: "Are you coming back on time for the Ceremony of the Fallen?"

"Of course. Many people deserved to be honored. People who gave their lives so that others may continue…" Snape turned around to hide the lone tear that slowly crept down his pale face, though he knew Dumbledore knew him too well to even try to hide his emotions.

"I must go now, Headmaster. I promised Bill Weasley I would meet him at the front gate. But before I go, I want to say goodbye to someone…"

"Go, Severus, I shall entertain you no more. Have fun in your trip. And say hello to Remus for me," this he said with a hint of amusement in his voice. "I'm sure he will be delighted to hear you will be going with the Weasleys."

Severus turned to face the headmaster and the latter was surprised by the great smile —the first sincere smile— that illuminated the face of his Potions Master.

"Yes, I'm sure he'll be glad to know it."

And having said that, Severus Snape took his luggage, left the school grounds, and Disapparated to the Hogsmeade cemetery to say farewell to his best friend, to the man who had given him back his faith in himself and in others.

To the man who had given his life so that Severus could find true happiness.

**THE END**


End file.
